martes, julio 24, 2007

Soñe que me querias pagar las cheves... (en el ZEN)

"No importa cómo ni dónde, siempre va a ver alguien más jarra que tú"

El ZEN

Despues de la birria de rechupete y doble servida -remedio por cierto muy efectivo contra la resaca sabatina- , y de ganarnos el apodo de talibanes (por acabar con las Torres) conducimos nuestra gesta en busca del preciado elixir, de la boda de la hermana de Yuyis y Lulu, al norte de la urbe hidrocalida: nadamas y nadamenos que al ZEN.

Este es otro lugar donde la raza hidrocalida que no esta a la altura de lugares como el FOX Evolution, el Maverick o el 8 segundos, cae de rebote y como premio de consolacion ante la imposibilidad de entrar a los ya mencionados, van al ZEN -ajaaaa-.
Llegamos a las 11 pm, temprano segun nosotros, dejamos al perro negro tras el ultimo carro de la fila de estacionamiento y nos acercamos a la entrada. Aqui el ZEN se llevo sus 5 primeros puntos, ya que solo a las nenas que parecian quinceañeras, se las hacian de pedo y les pedian su credencial. Entramos, $50 de cover, y nos dirigimos casi como de rutina, a la barra del lugar.
Ya plantados con nuestra respectiva cheve, basto un mensajito de "tamos afuera del baño de hombres" para que la niña Barbara nos hubicara y muy gentilmente nos indicara el camino hacia donde junto con su banda, jovialmente se bebian una botellita de whisky -con cerezas cabe mencionar-.
El Miguelon en definitiva no queria que nadie esa noche le ganara la nominacion, y por mas que quisimos alcanzarlo -unos con cheve, y otras con cerezas ahogadas en whisky-, no conseguimos aventajarlo, asi que el trofeo del mas jarra "corcholata wikicheve" se lo gano a todos con holgadisima ventaja.
Total que entre buena musica -exceptuando la falta de banda- , proyeccion de videos de artistas cachondas, whiskys y cheves (ahora si heladitas no como otros antros) se nos paso el rato, y
llego el momento de irnos a los tacos, antes que iniciara la reparticion de vasitos desechables y nos aventaran las luces como diciendo a la raza "bueno kbrones, ya lleguenle".

CALIFICACIONES: (en escala del 1 al 5, 5 = este antro la mueve, 1 = no vale madres)

1. Mamonez en la entrada (o sea que el tipico cadenazo, que te tengan esperando afuera, etc, etc.):
Me sorprendio que aunque estaba atascado de carros el estacionamiento (utamm ya no entramos), y era la hora pico antrera (11:00 pm), llegamos a la puerta y no habia aperramiento de gente ni cadenero mamon, asi que de volada entramos, por lo que en este punto el ZEN se gana: 5

2. Relacion Nenas-Batos (o sea, por cada femina, cuantos batos hay):
igual num de nenas que de batos, 1 a 1, asi que obtiene: 5

3. Precio (y calidad) de Cheve:
Y el ZEN se chingo al Szambuka: en cuanto le pedimos cheve a la nena en la barra, nos la entrego HE-LA-DI-TA (¿leeyeron szambukeros?): 5

4. DJ valin o perron (esto es si la mueve la musica del antro, la raza se prende con la musica, o de plano el DJ pone puras mamadas de Rebelde, o reggeton): Musica adecuada, buenas mezclas, y las 4 pantallas mostrando videos actuales (claro, no faltaron mamadas de hombres G y Timbiriche): 4

5. ¿Tocan banda en el antro?: Otra vez sin banda ni norteñas (lo siento pero yo soy de tuba y acordeon), asi que un: 2

6. ¿Botana en el antro? (un antro donde nomas hay pisto y nada que tragar no vale madres): Los cacahuatitos, churritos y paletitas que venden en los baños no valen madre: gente del ZEN pidan consejo a los del San Pancho: 2

7. Ventilacion y comodidad (o sea que el antro este hasta el moco, se encierre el humo de cigarro a lo cabron, que no puedas ni mover una pestaña de tanta gente, que estes sentado agusto): Llegamos al antro y si, estaba hasta la madre, pero se podia caminar sin excesivas torteadas: 4

CALIFICACION FINAL: 3.9
Fuera de la entrega rapida y helada de cheves (en esto es mejor el ZEN), el ZEN y el Szambuka tan igualitos.

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